Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize