She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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