So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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