is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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