thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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