your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
