He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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