Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We were destined to go to rehab together
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
