Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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