i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
