I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
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