He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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