That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
