you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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