When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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