i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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