I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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