i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
