I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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