Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
