I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
