dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ketchup is God's man juice
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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