In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
