Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
