Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
do herpes really smell.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
