He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
