Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
