if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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