i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
