I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
