i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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