i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
In America we eat man semen.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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