When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
