the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
