haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
