C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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