A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
