apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
