it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
