Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize