Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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