matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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