I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
