Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
