she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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