I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
