don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
