You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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