We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
