since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
