i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
