apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
