That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can vaginas get frostbite?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
