Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize