Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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