wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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