I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
