My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
