Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
