Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize