My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my liver is dry heaving
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
