i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize