that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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